A battle lost with myself
But not the war
Im still fighting
I was in the kitchen of my aunt and I have no clue how but somehow my mum saw my cuts (and for those who do not know: My parents do not know about my ed, depression or selfharm) and asked me what I had on my tummy. I said nothing and she told me to lift up my shirt. I didn’t. Then she started…
pictures on the left: today.
on the right: this time last year.
although you can barely see my scars any more, i still have to see them every single day. Y’know what my thing is? that people make self harm out to be something to be proud of. It is in no way, beautiful, it does not make you deep, it’s a horrible and scary thing to go through. I self harmed for about 6ish years or something. I remember the first time, i remember the last. I used to do it every single day. Crying on my bed, now fucking tell me how that’s beautiful. Tell me how my scars are beautiful when they remind me every day of how stupid i was. I’m going to cover all of mine up with tattoos. I’m not judging people who do it, I’m judging people who make out that it makes you some sort of dark tortured soul, that it makes you deep and fucking mysterious, no. However, it is stupid, self harming is stupid. It doesn’t solve your problems no matter how much you think it does at the time. It makes everything worse.
but seriously people need to stop making out as if it’s some sort of gift, because it’s hell. So stop it.
If you are dealing with any self harm problems, feel free to message me at any time, because im not as asshole, even if i seemed like one in this post.
what if 911 called you
Celebrating 7 years clean today. Feeling very grateful for my recovery, the steps, and the fellowship that supports me. I’m truly blessed.
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omg this is so cool take a look